~Rob Thomas

You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to
make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all
you want to do is cry

[Chorus]
And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make
things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live
our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow Someday

Now wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away
then maybe you can change
your mind
You can run, oh
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on
everything around you
Man it's good to be so warm

[Chorus]

And I don't want to wait
I just want to know
I just want to hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow

Cause maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just
feel better now and
Maybe someday we'll live
our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow Someday

[x2]
Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over again

~this song just seemed so perfect for the things we're going through.

I am so done with arki! I'm leaving its world...FOREVER. wahahaha. kidding, that'd be stupid, which I am but...whatever.

I'm gonna miss Beato, the profs, the people, the tinderas outside, my spot sa labas ng gate, lulu's condo and he's balcony (parang lahat may connection sa yosi ko? hahaha) I shouldn't be missing UST and Beato because it's easy to go back, I should be missing the life of a student, but not just yet. I haven't rid myself of the excitement of finally breaking free from it.

Yeah...I'm free.

or am I?

now that I'm no longer a student, I've officially stepped into the world of adults. I don't think I'm ready just yet for that kind of resposibility but somehow, it excites me. I am excited but I'm more afraid.

It's like my delibs all over again, but I just think of it this way... I got through that, I'm gonna get through this.

So hello world! and beware... jinx is on the loose.

suddenly blogging has lost its meaning; at least for me. I can no longer say what I wanna say at the exact moment I thought of it, no more spontineity, no more randomness, no more rants...no more expression, no life no meaning. Yeah... all that gone because from now on, I have to watch my words.

Why is it that when I want people to read what I write nobody reads them? and when I expect no one reads what I write someone reads it.

*sigh*

the ups and downs of a controversial writer.

I shouldn't be blogging. I still have my thesis to finish (yeah it's still not done..almost; I dunno how to layout it *ehem* pa-layout!*ehem* LOL) Anyway..I have too much in my mind write now to think of obvious solutions that's right in front of my face playing with it shamelessly, but since I'm absentminded most of the time lately, I can't think of anything else but being stranded.

Yep. I was stranded. Where? in Cainta. in seemingly god-forsaken Cainta.

Oh I'm not complaining and I'm not whining...that was some...hmmm.. experience. I had fun though; but saying I had fun while people were dying and struggling seems really insensitive doesn't it? again I'm sorry for saying I had fun during the flood but... ok, maybe it wasn't fun, but it was some experience. One I wouldn't trade for anything in my life.

It was my first time at her house, imagine that. after that ordeal, I didn't want to leave. Her room, her house the streets, the view from her balcony already felt oh-so familiar. I also gained friends whilst confined in that house. We bonded over corned beef and luncheon meat. We craved and drooled over ice and begged for water.

I am saddened by what that flood brought to other people and what others had to go through to survive it. But it means so differently to me. Ends are markers for new beginnings. When I think of the loss, my mind wonders what that loss is making room for.

I'm a pessimist, believe me, but being depressed for things that we have lost only makes it harder to move on and let go. Things happen for a reason and we may not see that reason now, but it'll all make sense in the future.

No matter how much we lost there is always something to be thankful for.

I know what you're thinking. I didn't lose anyone. You're right, and I don't know how they feel, nor will I pretend to. I'm sorry for their loss, I can't even imagine losing someone nor do I wanna think about it. But like I said, ends are beginnings, there is always something to be thankful for like life or chance. We need not more agony because that will only keep us down. We need to look for the little things that make us feel better to get through this.

We need something to look forward to and not look back at things that drag us down.

We need to survive not only for ourselves but for those who depend on us and look up to us.

We can get through this, we can get through everything, every obstacle... we just have to find out how.

I want to cry. 

I want to cry where someone won't stop me from doing so.

I want to cry while someone listens to me

for once.

~emo morning all!