my birthday's coming up and i'm facing the biggest dilemma of my teen life....

what am i going to do for my 18^th birthday?!?!?!

please give me some ideas on what i should do..... and please don't tell me to make it formal 'cause i think it's a little late for that and honestly i don't want it to be formal.....

help!!!!! please!!!!!! i desperately need your help!!!!!! please do comment... give as much suggestions as you want.....

thanks in advance....!!!!

if you read  my entry "so much has changed" well, let me just say that the rumors have been confirmed.... that scadal about that girl and the other girl..... it's true.....

i'd like to elaborate but it's two gruesome.... kids under 19 not allowed!!! hahaha....

but i really can't share anything else.... it's gotten so much worse..... hehehe....

who'd have thought so many people who were.... uummm,... who "are" like that..... tsk, tsk, tsk,.....

remember what i told you that i've had more contact with my highschool friends now and i'm noy exactly happy to hear the news they've been giving me.... mostly disappointing..... really disappointing.... like keep-you-up-at-night disappointing.....

it's true  what they say......"expect the unexpected"......

i never really expected any of this..... especially from ....... from..... basta from her!!!! sobra talaga!!!!

hmmmm.... for those who haven't watched the movie but are planning to... i suggest that you don't read this... this is a spoiler...hahaha...

this movie is the most violent, gore movie i have ever seen!!! they say it's like KILL BILL but a little worse...or if you like gore movies...then this is a lot better....hihihi....

this movie is based on the graphic novels of FRANK MILLER, who is also one of the directors (along with ROBERT RODRIGUEZ) and he also played the part of a priest.

this movie is about... well, sin city, where chaos and violence are everywhere...it revolves around three stories...

first with HARTIGAN.

a soon to be retired cop who was almost killed for saving an 11 year old girl, named NANCY, from being raped and murdered by a sexed crazed maniac, named ROARK JR. who's only interested in young girls.

BRUCE WILLIS plays the role of HARTIGAN as JESSICA ALBA plays the role of 19 year old NANCY. NICK STAHL plays the role of ROARK JR.

*HARTIGAN saves little NANCY and had the tables turned on him by SENATOR ROARKE played by POWERS BOOTHE, ROARK JR'S FATHER. he spends 8 years in prison with nothing but little nancy's letters to keep him alive, as he says.

after 8 years, the letters stop coming and hartigan fears that roark jr. already found nancy. so he did what can to get out of prison and save the only person that matters to him.

 (hartigan in jail, visited by the yellow bastard) 

this is THE YELLOW BASTARD aka ROARK JR. you see, hartigan damaged roark pretty badly so his father did everything to repair the damage that has been done... it had a very bad side effect though.... he was like a corpse...literally....

for me...he's the weirdest character...hahaha...actually it's just because he's yellow.

next in line is MARV.

MARV is this tough guy who risked everything to avenge GOLDIE, a hooker whom he just met, and sleeps with for one night only to find her dead the next morning.

MARV played by MICKEY ROURKE. that girl in front of him is LUCILLE, his shrink, played by CARLA GUGINO.

and with the help of goldie's twin sister, WENDY played by JAIME KING, they find and SLAUGHTER! the killer who turns out to be KEVIN a cannibalistic boy, portrayed by ELIJAH WOOD.

elijah's character was the weirdest because of the fact that he's a cold-blooded killer with that freaishly weird smile that never seems to leave his face. imagine this...he was dismembered and was fed to his own pet dog and the only thing that was left of him was his freakishly weird face that was still smiling.

but... there's somebody else behind these killings... and that's CARDINAL ROARK played by RUTGER HAUER. don't worry...he dies too...

sad as it may seem, marv dies too... after being electricuted twice or thrice.

this is JACKIE BOY.

JACKIE BOY played by BENICIO DEL TORO. is the only cop who keeps the peace between the mobs, the police and the prostitutes.

he gets killed by CLIVE OWEN'S character DWIGHT. he's also one of the weird ones.... he dies because his gun backfires on him.. and i don't mean he dies because of a bullet.... but because of his gun as in it's sticking out of his forehead....(eeewwww)

after a few hours, when dwight takes him to the tarpits to hide his body along with his men, he starts to talk.... HE WAS ALREADY DEAD, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!

anyway, this is

JOSH HARTNETT.... aka THE MAN..... well, he was at the very beginning of the movie..... and at.... the very end.... so...in other words.... he did nothing but start and end the film...hehehe....

 

well, that was most of the cast, it also includes ROSARIO DAWSON (GAIL), BRITTANY MURPHY(SHELLIE), DEVON AOKI(MIHO), AND ALEXIS BLEDEL(BECKY) who plays hard-ass hookers who obviously can protect themselves....hahaha...

i like the movie because of it's great cast and that fact that they made the movie exactly like it was in the comic.... it was like they actually brought the comic book to life...it was really amazing!!

so all in all, it is a great film and i don't mean minus the violence cause i think that's what makes it comically good!!!

rating:

your past is following you maybe because it's saying something to you or it's giving you a sign...

maybe you're looking at this the wrong way. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. so why don't you sit down and think this over.

about the decisions, everyone entitled to their own opinion so don't get all choked up just because u think that they think that's it's not the right thing to do.

hehehe...exiled to a santuary... sound very familiar to me.... a sanctuary is a place where one feels safe... therefore i have no problem being exiled... it's like sometimes i'd rather be alone than to hurt or be hurt.

about your friend, as long as you don't hold any grudge against him... i know it hurts. but sometimes you just have to let it go...move on... you can't let something like these pull you back... yoou'll never get anywhere if you keep fearing that you're disappointing someone or hurting someone... this stuff happens... it inevitable that's why sometimes you just have to accept it, good or bad.

if you still can't, do this...cry a little...curse a little... let it out.... then move on... you have to anyway.

if a real eclipse only last for a few seconds... you shouldn't let this one last for a lifetime.

i wish i could be MANHID. i'm very emotional... i get angry or cry over little things. not many people see this cause like you, i choose not to... but it's very hard. i always have that heavy feeling inside of me like i'm gonna burst any moment soon.

i know the feeling... the feeling as if your lost and nothingor nowhere seems to be the place or thing that you're looking for... i often feel that...

at times like this you have to optimistic cause if everyone else is pulling you down then you blame yourself for everything that has happened to you... you'll never get over it.

in every situation when something happens may it be good or bad... the fault should never be blamed on one person only... everybody played their part... everyone gave their contribution... it's either everyone's fault or everyone's victory... so don't be selfish and don't blame it all on you.


you have to expect the worst but give way for the best thing that can happen...


let me just say one thing.... lui, i'm here for you through anything... i'm your friend and that's one thing i'm never letting go of... fall and it's either i'll fall with you or i'm the one that's gonna be pulling you up... through the dark... it's either i'll be walking through the dark with you or i'll be lending you my flashlight....

and remember one thing, God forsakens no one... even if it is as wicked as me...

and lui,

i'm willing to be that last thing left inside padora's box.... that's if you'd want me to....

it was raining really hard last night and when i woke up this morning... it was still dark...not because it was still dawn but because of the storm...

i hate the rain sometimes.... it reminds me of so many  things... it's like... for every drop of rain represents a thing, a place, or person from my past... i don't know... everytime it rains i feel weird... it's like i'm gonna be sick or something....

i don't know if it's the smell or the cool breeze... i dunno.... i hate things that remind me of my past....maybe because most of them were bad but maybe because... i just don't get the idea of reliving your past when you're already that preoccupied with your present.

anyway, it stopped raining... and my brother, sister and i went to mega mall to bowl... and maybe, ice skate... i've been missing the ice for so long....

so when we got there we had our lunch first...and as we were eating i was envying those who were already in the ice skating rink...it looked like they were having so much fun....

so after we ate, we went to the ice skating rink, but the guard told us that it won't open until 12 so we still had 30 minutes left so we decided to play bowling first and then my dad showed up....

i wasn't expecting this... but my dad played with us and he was like,

"huwag na lang kaya...nakakahiya eh.... bka matalo nyo ako...matagal na ako d ngbobowling eh...."

and then we were like,

"hindi...cge na....ok lng yan...."

so he played with us... aun....

yung una nyang tira, wala syang natamaan.... so parang nagsisisi pa sya... then mamaya-maya...after two throws aba! nakaka-stike na?!?!!

d daw marunong?????hmmmph!!!!

kaso ngloloko yung scoring kasi napunta sa kin yung strike nya!!! hahaha!!!! yes!!! may libre akong strike!!!!

and then sobrang labo na nung scoring kaya most of the game hindi na namin sya pinansin...

mamaya-maya naka-strike na naman ang dad ko... napunta naman sa isa kong kapatid....

kawawa ung dad ko kasi sya yung may pinakamababa na score eh sya tong strike ng strike!!!! hahaha!!!!

anyway, pagkatapos nun....punta na kmi ng ice skating rink.... ayun.... ngunlimited time kmi.... kala ko mahal....

P220 lang per person...+P20 yung locker rental... binayaran ng dad namin yung ice skating... aba?!?! wala na kming ginastos....!!!!

so binayaran nalng namin yung dad namin ng P300 para fair...

aun...

ngsimula kmi ng twelve....isang oras kong sinasanay yung sarili ko sa yelo kasi d na ako sanay....pero ok lng...pgkatapos nun... ngtutulakan na kmi dun.... nakakainis kasi ang ganda nung skates nung iba... yung pang-hockey yung gamit....gsto ganun eh....

kaso...lam nyo ba kung magkano yun???? P10,000!!!! wag na lng!

magtitiis na lng ako dun sa sira-sirang skates dun sa skating rink....

grabe!!!! hanggang 3:30 kmi nandun....

nabigla ata yung legs ko.... 3¹/₂ hours kmi nandun.... nonstop ang skating namin....pero ok lng....

yun naman yung gusto ko eh.... ang saya talaga!!! lalo na ngaun at wala na akong roller blades....grrrr!!!

anyway...ang sakit ng paa at legs ko ngaun!!! pero ok lng...next summer i'm planning on learning how to play hockey....

that's the only sport i'm really interested in.... that's if wala akong summer classes!!! i hope i don't!!!!

*wish wish wish*

pero bago ang lahat...kailangan kong pagipunan ang hockey skates.... ooohhhh.... hindi ata ako kakain ngaung school year na toh.....

hehehe.... okie....

that's all folks!!!

i know what your thinking.... that this is all about missing my trip to baguio which i have been waiting for all summer....

not once... hindi na ako nakalayo sa bahay namin....

syet! sobrang bored na ako!!!

 

*gasping for air*

 

 

grabe!!!! mamamatay na ako sa sakal ng magulang ko.....

this is turning out to be the worst summer i have ever had.....!!!!!

THIS SUMMER SUCKS!!!!!!!!

kasi naman ... ang nanay ko paranoid....ang tatay ko...hmmm....ano ba??? pilyo!!!! ang hilig akong inaasar... alam na nga nyang hindi ako kasama sa baguio... aasarin pa ako...

he keeps rubbing it in na ako ang may kasalanan kung bakit hindi ako kasama!!!! ggggrrrrrr.... kakalbohin ko talaga yang tatay ko eh.....

anyway... not that i'm complianing (which obviously i am) it's just that i hope that when they say something... they'll keep it.... i don't know what to do anymore cause it seems as though everything i do is wrong.... it's like don't do anything at all.....

tapos sasabihin nila kung pano at kailan pa ako matuto gawin yan eh... hindi nga nila ako binibigayn ng chance gawin yun....

arrrggghhhh!!!!

gaya na lng nung pagddrive ko.... sabi nila...once na natuto ako mgcommute... pwede na ako mgdrive since kukuha ng bagong car ang mom ko... tapos malaman laman ko na lng na hindi pala ako pagddrivin.....

aarghhh!!!!!

nakakainis....

i just wish that they would give me a little freedom..... 

oooohhhhh..... thank god!!!!

i'm so excited and at the same time i'm not..... my birthday's in two weeks!!!!

my birthday's coming up soon... it's all good... and i d want to thank all those who helped figure out how i would make my birthday a little special....

i've combined some ideas i've gotten... and i honestly think that it would turn out a blast.....!!!!

there'd be dancing... DRINKING!!!! and whatever else is possible during a party.... hmmmm......

one thing's for sure though... i'm not making it formal!!! i wouldn't want my guests to be uncomfortable wearing gowns... that might've worked during prom but it's sure not the case at my party....

i did want to have a live band... but i guess that's a little too much to ask but that's ok.... i do have a disco mobile... ballroom dancing... heehee...

well... for those who are interested in coming... it's on july 2.... "venue to be announced!!!"

 

okie???? okie.....

well.... for more information just email me at jinx_182002@yahoo.com

ayt?!?!

so far, yesterday was the best day i had since the start of the semester... i'm not revealing anything just yet....

i don't want to get all excited over something i know wouldn't last long... i'm just happy that some events yesterday even happened....

before, when i was in first year, something happened... i thought that since that already happened.. i couldn't ask for more... but it happened all too soon so my happiness was soon shattered by that same person... all becasue i thought it was all good....

things change

that's what i always say... it may be for the better or it may be foor the worse... in my case, both....

now it's so hard wishing for more changes since you have no idea what changes you're gonna get....

i guess the only thing for me to do for me to stop regretting things that have changed for the worse is to remember yesterday or that day that happened a year ago...

isn't that the only that i could do? remember that things doesn't always go wrong... sometimes they go right... even better than you expected....

*sighs*