this retreat made me realize... i don't really need it. maybe i do, but i think that's the problem...why do we need it? do we really have to spend a thousand bucks to learn about ourselves? did we realy need to go somewhere, where civilization is non-existent just to hear and learn things we always do... the real problem is: everyday we have our own retreats, not as open as the "RETREAT" but it's true, isn't it?

ok, so maybe it not just about finding oursleves... what the heck, i think we paid a thousand bucks just to have a rest from all the hassles this darn course brings plus bonding and *kilig* moments...

ang sad lang...i wanted to go there because i thought it was the perfect oppurtunity to make peace with a certain someone and she didn't come... you know ang bigat pa rin sa kin kasi she never made the effort or something... ma-pride ako so what? gusto ko kasi sya yung unang mag-approach sa kin... gusto sya umamin... i wanna hear her side... ang sakit lng talaga... she may have not meant it pero iba kasi yung pagkakasabi...kaya ang sakit...

i do hope it all turns out ok with me and her but for now, don't expect me to talk to her like before...no more bonding moments...

as for my evil scheme *ehem..."plain seductive"...ehem* i'm not gonna do it...although i might still do kasi nga plain seductive ako..hahaha

anyway, siguro kaya ganito nlng ang tingin ko sa retreat na to kasi wla masyadong nangyari of course hindi kasama dun yung BLACK-OUT, PAGIGING-STRANDED, MILENYO, US ALMOST BLOWN AWAY...

i mean, the theme was FRIENDSHIP AND UNITY so basically isa syang malaking open forum...and again..yun at yun ang narinig ko tungkol sa kin... I'M KSP, IMPATIENT AND A MASOCHIST... i'll TRY to change but as they say old habits die hard... not to mention, yung pagiging impatient is namana ko sa tatay ko...yung pagiging ksp...well spoiled kasi ako... as for yung masochist thing...

may confession ako...

this started when i was in highschool...i  got hurt a lot during that time...i used to cry a lot...i thought my friends were tired of seeing break down again and again...kung ako yun mapapagod din ako... i started hurting myself... inflict physical pain to forget emotional pain... it work for a while...a few minutes of pain and the emotional pain would soon be pouring in again...so imagine i did that a lot...

my friends back then seldon saw the cuts so i just kept on doing it... after, the pain stopped...i was ok again...but i missed the attention... gsto ko lagi silang nag-ffuss over sakin... gsuto ako ako ako lang... not just at school especially at home...there was a time na sobrang galit ako sa kapatid ko...like i said, spoiled ako in a way... and nag-kick in yung paseselos sa kaptid ko kasi sya yung baby...sya yung bunso so yung attention na-stuck sa kanya...

i thought seeing my cuts would make them value me more...but that didn't happen... in fact they wanted to send me away...choices: convent or rehab...

after the long run... that stopped too... i'm still jealous of my brother... but now... the whole cut thing...is nothing but a mere past time... yeah... ewan... there are times lang talaga na gusto ko saktan yung sarili...siguro nga may rason... paminsan alam ko paminsan hindi... paminsan naman...gusto ko lng ng rason umiyak but i found out na hindi nakakaiyak ang pagcucut...

meron ngang time na feeling ko wla na akong luha at dugo... para bang i've been drained...for a time, i liked it that way... but as always, kelangan ko kasi ng outlet...alam nyo naman na hindi ako nagagalit... if ever man, min:5 mins, max: 20 mins...tampo, min: minutes max: years

iyakin ako kasi yun ang labasan ko, paminsan ngcucut ako kpag ayaw ko umiyak...

now you know...don't get offended kung ngcucut ako at hindi nyo alam kung bakit...sakin lang kasi...kapag secreto ko, akin lng talaga..unless gusto sabihin...there are somethings na mas maganda hindi nyo na malaman....

i'm sorry kung ganun ako... mahirap din kasi magtrust...tpos sisirain...

alam ko kung anu yung iniisip nyo... ang kapal ng face k magsalita ng ganito...samantalang i'm exactly like that... ang gulo...

sorry talaga...

anyway, never had my chance sa open forum...so here's my side

lui: i gotta admit na there are times na naiinis ako sayo...kasi (you're going to laugh at this) hindi mo ako pinapansin...ksp talaga ako... kapag hindi mo ako kinausap feel ko galit ka sa kin...so ako ngaun, kung galit ka sakin galit din ako sayo... pero like i said laging nwawala yun kasi may ginagawa ka na hindi ko ineexpect... sobrang more than enough to make up for the pag-iignore... sobrang ang dami mo ng nagawa para sa kin i can't count 'em... thank you. *hug*

van: there are times na sobrang napapagod ako sa pagkkwento mo tungkol kanila dylan and others...wag mo isipin na ngkukunwari lang akong masaya kapag andun tayo sa gym or something... usually ganun lang ako kapag badtrip ako...alam mo na kapag may nangyaring di kanais-nais or it's that time of the month again...most of the time nag-eenjoy talaga ako...hello? pwde ba naman ako tumawa ng ganun tpos fake pala...hehehe...yun lng...so, i'm not saying na you should stop... i'm just saying kasi baka one of these days hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko eh yung pagiging bad-trip ko eh sayo ko malabas.... lalo na ngaun sobra ako magmura...rarr...hehehe

kat: mahilig talaga ako sa katrina...kayong dalawa lng talaga ni kae ang nakakaalam sa buong pagakatao ko...the good and the bad.. and i'm not afraid to show the real me...kasi somehow i know you'll still accept me...kahit na sabihin ko pa na... "eto hindi ko talaga toh sasabihin kahit knino..." pero pagdating sayo...parang wla akong gustong gawin kung hindi ilaglag ang sarili ko... syempre wla tatalo sa kat-jea things... to be honest, there was a certain time last year na para tayong ng-away...galit ralaga ako nun...but then i got used to it... tsaka hindi na naman nagyari ulit so... ayun nakalimutan ko na rin...

likewise...i don't i'll make it this far without you...mwah!

yay: i know past is past...sorry talaga. hindi ko rin kasi tnry a intindihin ka...selfish kasi ako...sorry...labshoo!

jhoe: there are times na hindi kita ma-gets... yung hindi ka namamansin... eh db impatient na nga ako, ksp pa...so pag tinawag kita tapos hindi mo ako pinansin and unang pumapasok sa isip ko is, "ok fine..." lagi yan...kahit ilang beses mo sya gawin sa kin... ewan ko kasi siguro alam ng insides ko na sooner or later papansinin mo rin naman ako so ok lng na magtampo ako for a few minutes...and weird ko talaga... aun...just like lui said...ang daming nagrereach out sayo... masyado ka kasing stressed with stuff kaya d mo na napapansin...

be more open..baka may ma-discover ka...

ava: i'd like to think that we got close for a while...pero hindi ko pa talaga nakasanayan yang pagiging matampuhin mo... so wag ka magtataka kung one time maabutan mo akong nagtatampo din sayo...

erf: sobrang thank you! at sorry din... i guess ok na rin yung naabutan mo akong galit at sayo ko nailalabas kasi ikaw yung nagpapatawa sa kin... hindi ko lng kasi inexpect lalo na from you... nahihiya na nga ako eh... parang twing mguusap nlng tayo is may problema ko... thank you po talaga!!! sorry about breaking my promise... d ko talaga mapigilan ang sarili ko eh...easily influenced kasi ako...eh wlang pumipigil sa kin dun... aun...na tempt ako...sorry...

neil: kay neil wala akong masabi...sobrang bait...kya lang ma-pride din kasi ayaw mo talaga ako panalunin sa thumb wrestling natin...hehehe...kinda like the big brother i never had...

thony: rarr! pano mo nalaman yun?!?!?!?!?! transparent ba ko??? pero sabagay simpleng specie lang ako..madali lang ako intindihin...wlang laglagan...magkakamatayan tayo... anyway, i get to side another side of you...kasi dati ang nakikita ko lang is yung mayabang side...yup mayabang ka...blabber mouth...pero to tell the truth...it doesn't bother me that much...paminsan lng,,,pag-badtrip ako at kung...yun...basta yun...anyway, i saw your human side...hahaha joke lang. oi, ung 20Q ko...

to "names-i-can't-mention-until-issues-ressolved": never knew you were that kind of person, you've misled a lot of people...can't elaborate more...

anyhoo...

just because the retreats over doesn't mean we have stop discovering things for oursleves...we stop growing...i don't even know if that's possible..haha

labo...

oh well...back to design..

pictures:

to be added...

no doubt mababasa nyo rin ito sa blog ni van....and probabaly sa lahat ng blog ng taga-uste...pero what-the-hell?!?! woohoooooo!!!! proud ako!!!!

galing nyo tigers!!!!!

perks to my schoolmate syempre... even my dad was praising you!!! bihira yun!!!! Nice one Dylan Ababou! i'm sure not only UST is celebrating right now...pati SIENA COLLEGE..pati siguro taytay nagcecelebrate...hahaha!!! huwag ka muna pumunta ng siena...dudumugin ka....hahaha!!!great game!

all that hard work finally paid off...i kept praying to the Lord you win...you really deserve this!!!

go uste!

that's the best way to describe this week...as in grabe! rarr talaga!!! as in rarr!!!

monday: heaven and hell

there was supposed to be no design class...as in ang kulit ng mga tao nung sunday...wag pumasok and then pumasok nlng daw...ang gulo! and then nagdecide na wag nlng talaga pumasok...so aun...alam ni sir na walang papasok...pero kpag may ngpakita..magche-check sya ng attendance...eh kalahati ng klase namin eh ma-FFA na... so aun...

guess what?

may pumasok! pota.

kawawa yung mga ma-FFA...sobra...biro isang araw nlng ng attendance yung pa yung mgpapabagsak sa knila...buti nlng somehow mabait si sir...gwapo pa...hahaha...wala koneksyon...wala lang...

aun...i think he's going to give consideration naman...so aun/...i hope so...sayang talaga eh...

heaven...

weeeee! nanalo tigers! champions sila! weeeeee!

*bow*

tuesday: idle

walang nangyari...pumunta na naman ako sa lib para gumawa ng design..ako na naman ang ngbukas ng lib...argh. pero ok lng...

wednesday: HELL!

frustration, stress, anger, stupidity...bullshit talaga yung araw na yun...pota.

kasi ganito...next day..papasa na yung design...at ang gagawin ko pa is:

elevs: detail and render
sections:render
masterplan: replan, details, ink and render
site dev: additional details and render
interior perspective
spot perspective
concept sheet

yan lang naman ang gagawin ko sa isang gabi! yan lang...no sweat!

and then! yung iba jan...sobrang ka-adikan sa dota...aalis para maglaro...tapos ngdecide na mag-overnight nlng samin...umuwi pa sa kung saan man para kumuha ng damit...nawala ng two hours! kelangan ko ng drafting table!!!! so wasted ang kalahati ng two hours na yun...

buti na nga lang at tinulungan ako nila master neil, erf and thony...(pa rub-off naman ng shotgun powers dyan!)

maraming salamat po.

tpos! tpos! argh!!!!! men are jerks! sobra! sadista! weird! ang labo! nakakainis! ewan....

note: in general lng...

tayo naman tong mga tanga na naniniwala sa lahat ng sasabihin nila! ang stupid naman ng mga babae!!!

biro mo sarili kong advice hindi ko sinunod!!!! anung ginawa ko? iniyakan ko! ang stupid ko talaga!

ang stupid nya talaga! nakakainis...isa syang batang nagpapanggap na matanda...alam mo yun...yung pagka-mature nya eh sobrang childish... basta ganun yun!

nakakainis talaga sya. nakakafrustrate ka...bullshit. talaga. argh!

buti nlng at nakausap ko ulit si kulit nung madaling araw kaya hindi ko alam kung kasama sya wednesday...cge nga nga sa thurs ko nlng ikkwento...

thursday: heaven and hell

heaven.

natapos namin ang design...yung nga lang medyo kulang sa render at dimensions...pero andun lahat...nakakatuwa.weeeee! tsaka tapos na ako magdefense! weeeeeee! nginitian ko si sir! hahahaha

nagbati kmi ni nya...yun..basta. di ko pwede sabihin yung nickname nya kasi baka...BAKA lang ngbabasa yun... aun..nagabti kmi..he was all sweet and loving again...eto na naman ako ngpagago na naman ako... pota. ewan.

aun...nakausap ko nga si kulit mga 12 ata hanggang 4:30 ng umaga mgka-chat kmi...miss daw nya ako...hehe. *kilig...medyo lang* and he was talking about me moving in with him...hahaha...sabi ko, "is this a serious conversation?" hahaha...kinda m.u. pero...walang commitment... i think it would be very impossible for us to be together... sayang. miss ko na tuloy sya ulit...

hell.

one word: toa.

friday: heLL

kalahati lng...leche kasi si ma'am. pota. napaka-inconsiderate. pa-importante...gusto ko talaga sya itext knina na sana lang nanonood sya or nakikinig man lang...ewan ko sa kanya...ksp. AKO LANG YUN!!!

aun na pala...so mostly hell ang week na toh...pero may ok moments din so ok lng...hindi naman ako naburat... pikon lng talaga ako

can i rant some more?

i'll rant anyway...

men are jerks and women are stupid

i think i mentioned this before...i said that we learn about ourselves everyday and i just learned that despite with this so-called knowledge about guys and how mean they are...here i am falling under the exact same spell they put on stupid, gullible girls... i kept telling people, kat to be exact... that they are so no worth it!

vile creatures, men are...and stupidly stupid...and dumb...did i mention dumb? one minute they're treating you like you're the greatest thing that's ever happend to them and then they'll suddenly treat you like trash that they can just throw somewhere...like left-over food that you can just set aside... and then..back to being sweet...like nothing happened...

MEN!

UGHH!

just realized... i thought i've learned my lesson...but no! i tried to go back in the game and what do i get?!?!?!? what!?!?! i fall flat on my face... what hurts more was that when that happened...i had no friends.... literally... nung time na yun eh umalis na ang lahat ng kaibigan ko at sinong natirang kasama ko?

SI EMONG! pota..si emong pa...sa lahat ng tao! yun pa! eh wlang kwentang tao yun...buti nlng natira si dom ang jags dun medyo tnry nila ako icomfort...someone was even...SUPER EXTRA NICE...and while he was doing that, i was thinking, what would happen if SHE  found us like that...hmmmm...more issue?

anyway...they eventually left leaving me all alone with the ever-so annoying, selfish, insensitive emong...wla tuloy akong mapaglabasan ng galit! imagine me crying alone!!!!

yes..i cried. pathetic i know. but that was the only thing i could do... damn superheroes...their heads are getting to big!

argh! MEN!

current state of mind: slush.

right now...i'm a guy hater again. tomorrow, i don't know...kpag kinausap cguro ako ulit ni yun eh baka hindi na ulit...inuunahan ko na...alam ko magpapa-uto ako ulit...and then iiyak ako ulit...sobrang gasgas na ng buhay ko...hindi ako magbago?

maybe the world doesn't need to change... maybe i do.

yeah...maybe i should...

i hope so...

*sigh*

is it a bird?

is it a plane?

no...

it's just you...

is it really, "it doesn't matter what people say"?

sa tingin ko...hindi.

ewan...sa totoo lng there's no particular reason for this entry...gs2 ko lng mgblog..

kasi...?

hindi ko rin alam...i'm frustrated and instead of being that maniac masochist that i am...i decided to write useless nonsense things...wala lang..

frustrated talaga ako...cguro kasi i know that i'll be failing half or more of my subjects...i think i did my best...i think...pero i guess it wasn't good enough...

and my self-esteem is again...way way down...it's like everything i do is and will never be good enough... i'm not good enough period.

i don't even know why i'm here...why the hell am i taking up architecture? because i can draw? i just realized that i can't draw...

i like drawing as a way to release feelings...a sort of output...i never did like it when people want me to draw... i believe i can draw anything... but it doesn't have to have a special reason...i just do it...it sort of comes out naturally...but now?

the only reason i draw is so that i can pass...to please my professors... me, drawing has now, a reason...my drawings should not have any real purpose but to relieve me of things i can't usually take out on a person...but now? it's the reason i need to be relieved... i can't even write anymore...

no inspiration...pain is not inspiration...neither is love. in fact, i'd consider both as distractions... and i am distracted by both... because i'm lacking in love and overflowing with pain...

i'm not suicidal...i don't want to go to hell... but sometimes i do pray that i don't wake up one morning...just to run away from all of these... i hate my life right now...just thinking about tomorrow makes me shake... thinking of all the badluck i'll be having...

what the hell is wrong with me? i feel so down... i wanna cry..but i'm still looking for a good enough reason to do so...me feeling sorry for myself is not a good reason...it's pathetic.

i wanna do something really really bad or something...something that jea wouldn't normally do..

....

...

..

.

..

...

....

ewan talaga. crap.

because of all the stress this week...i'm in no mood to do anything... as in nothing...i find myself reading the same sentence of my socio reviewer for the last 20 minutes so i take a brake and lie down for a while... and then i find myself staring at that same spot in the ceiling for the next 15 minutes... i'm wasting time...

i decided to eat...as always... and then after getting food out of the fridge and the cupboard, i sit at the table holding my food..that's it. just holding, not eating.

there is something seriously wrong with me. i'm looking for something and i don't know what...

last night i had my sketch pad on my lap with a pencil on my hand...i tried drawing something...when i looked at it after 5 minutes, it was the same blank paper....

there are a lot of things i wanna do... but i forget why i wanna do them...it's like, now, i have to look for a reason to do things... or else it would be just a waste of time...

damn i'm so dramatic these days...its disgusting.

get a grip jea! *slaps self*

everything's piling up again... what am i suppose to be doing?

.whatever.

sabi nila nagbabasa na raw ang mag tao ng mga blog...cge nga tgnan natin...

aylah.

sorry pero pinabsa ko kanila kat, lui and vanessa yung mga text mo knina...like i said, ikaw nlng ang hinihintay kong magkwento...kaya lang... yung mga kwento ng tao is hindi kagaya ng kwento mo...

iisa lng nag cnabi nilang rason kung bakit hindi mo ko knuha as your groupmate...

i saved your messages to ask if those things really did happen...comparison ba?...and well...masama ang naging reaction nung mga ngbasa...

i'm telling you now...if ever ngbabasa ka nga ng blog...baka mabasa mo ang blog ni kat...naku...pissed off yun...sobra. si lui naman...medyo MEDYO galit lng...si van...nag-react pero subtle.

ayan may warning na...sa 22o lng hindi ko alam kung paano magreact kasi i wasn't there...kya lng consistent kasi ang mga kwento ng mga tao...sayo lng yung hindi...pero like i said..i'm over it...

hindi ko sinama sa mga text ko knina pero nung nalaman ko nga yung reason..i was PISSED-OFF...like kat pissed-off...nagsisisigaw ako at namumumura....at nagsisisigaw ako ng mura as in...kya medyo ok na ako...medyo...kasi ngaun i don't know what to believe...

ewan.(favorite expression ko to ngaun...tsaka yung crap..wala lang)

basta...sana ma-klaro na..ang gulo na kasi eh...lalo ako na-ffrustrate...

kevin "superman"

ewan ko sayo! ang labo mo and freakishly creepily psychic?

knina...mga 12 nn saka ko lang ulit pinansin si smart sim...wala kasi gumagamit nung isang cell and guess what...after a week of no talking to each other...he texted me...as in. ang creepy. i was thinking..maybe matagal na nyang text to ngaun ko lang na-receive kasi nga hindi ko pinanasin si smart sim...but no...nag-reply sya and he was calm...

CALM! last time na ng-usap este away pala eh...well, nag-aaway kami... and i told him i was giving up on him... ang labo nya talaga kausap kahit kelan! he said he wanted to see me... and he was all sweet again...crap talaga!

some part of me was *kilig* and then the other half was like "HUWAT?!?!"

ang labo talaga period.

ewan.cRAP.

lightings.

db sabi nila lighting never hits the same spot twice? bakit ganun? yung kidlat laging nasa isang lugar ko lng nakikita...cguro nga it b=never hits the same spot twice pero i'm guessing mga one inch lang ang nilayo nung last tama dun sa susunod na tama...

wala lang napansin ko lng knina...bored kasi ako sa fx eh...

flirting.

one sure-fire way of flirting...eye-contact. haha-try it...wlang paltos yun... nakakatuwa...

just plain seductive...or flirty.

ewan...dati sobrang na-offend ako nung sinabihan ako ng isang friend ko na guy na flirt daw ako...hahaha selos kasi sya nun kasi yung friend nya yung cneseduce ko at hindi sya...hahaha

anyway...ngaun hindi na sya nakaka-offend kasi sa totoo lng...flirty talaga ako...pangit kasi pakinggan kapag tagalog...malandi...hahaha..

i just realized...god-given talent sya along with my *ehem* god-given gifts... bakit inggit sila at hindi sila kasing "blessed" ko? aaawww...too bad.

hahaha...medyo sabaw ako ngaun kasi alam ko next week...iiyak ako...crap talaga.

panda.

ayoko na sayo..ewan. hindi ka na cute. yun lang.

aun lang...wala na akong thoughts...ang sinasabi ng thoughts ko eh..."mag-aral ka na ng hoa!"

hahahaha

thank you.

yun lang ang masasabi ko sa mga taong dumepensa sa kin....salamat. you don't know how thankful i am for having friends like you...i am forever indebted to you...

*bows*

sobrang...wah! thank you talaga...

wee...pak! ang mushy!

hahaha....

anyway...i never knew i had friends like that din...ewan...i mean siguro naman lahat tayo merong friend na back-stabber..db?

anyway..ang kinaiinis ko dun sa whole issue is...NAPUNTA AKO KAY EMONG AT JP!!!

nainis ako dahil sa unang stages of the major plate...sobrang bum! sobra talaga!

and i was blaming you! delikado ako sa design...and i was thinking... wala na ako pag-asa dahil sila ang mga naging ka-group ko...

pero i underestimated them... magaling pala sila magcram...hahaha

pero i am thankful paa sa kanila...kasi biro mo...hindi kmi close...i hate emong's guts...medyo asar ako kay jp about the whole among-jea thing...plus the MIA's dahil ngdodota sya...sobrang galit talaga ako dun...

pero...kinuha nila ako. a total stranger. ikaw?

inabandona mo ako for the sake of your love affair. as if i'd steal your guy?

come on...he is so not my type...ask kat.. i like hunky guys with..."beautiful eyes"complimented by...

...alam na nila kat, van and lui yan...

they know me too well...too well to know that i'm not the kind of person who'd go after a guy who's already BRANDED by some other girl...especially IF SHE'S MY FRIEND.

hindi ako back-stabber.

mang-aagaw lng ako ng guy kung:

-cute talaga sya
-hindi ko kilala yung girl
-and if ever...i wouldn't let it last for one day... ittry ko lang yun...

i don't steal guys...

and if you read lui's blog...may comment din ako...sa 22o lang wala sa kin na kinuha nila si van eh...kasi nga BARKADA TAYO...wala akong paki kung knino mapunta si kahit sino...BARKADA NGA EH!

eh ikaw?

*sigh*

darn it!

i said i'm over it!

BLAH!

crap.

*breathe jea breathe*

okay...i'm okay again...

point is...

• you left me for your own selfish reasons
• you blamed innocent people for your own selfish reasons...

ewan...

ngaun lng toh...mamaya calm na ulit ako...

pota..nakalimutan ko ung pinag-aralan ko sa hoa. crap.

okay...back to my notes.!

for the last time...i'm over it.

kelan nyo ba ako nakitang magalit? ng matagal ha? never... never pa akong nagalit sa isang tao na lumampas sa isang linggo..kahit nga isang araw eh...kelangan ko lng huminga at maglabas ng sama ng loob... magmura ng magmura...magsulat o mgblog tungkol dun...

after nun...wala na.

oo, nagalit ako. NAGALIT. i felt FELT betrayed.

napansin nyo ba? PAST TENSE YAN!

hindi na po ngaun...ok na ako.

I AM OVER IT. 

kasalanan ko ba kung sumama yung loob ko? kung feeling ko inabandona nyo ako?

pota, ksp nga ako eh.

for the record...i don't judge. kya nga tinanong ko knila lui kung ano nangyari eh...WALA AKO DUN...wala akong alam... ngtanong ako...nagcompare...anu yung lumabas?

more confusion....

sorry..sige na kasalanan ko na ang lahat.

kasalanan ko... na ngabsent ako nung araw na yun..

kasalanan ko... kung bakit ako nawalan ng kagrupo

kasalanan ko... kung bakit ngkakagulo ang barakada ngaun...

oo...kasalanan ko nga ang lahat...

kasi masyado ako pa-importante..gusto ko yung mundo umikot sa kin...

kasi makasarili ako...

i never wanted it to get this far... in fact...i didn't want it to be this way.... gs2 ko ng matinong explanation...

from you, aylah.

ngtanong lang ako sa kanila kung nangyari ba yung mga bagay bagay na yun...

hindi ko inakala na ganun ang reaction nila...

i'm sorry.

ayoko talaga ng ganito...ayoko.

again i'm sorry...

sorry for everything...

ano pa gusto nyo sabihin ko?

.ewan...

ang sarap pala ng buhay kung oblivious ka noh? wala kang alam sa mundo kundi pano huminga...

para bang si spogebob?

squidward: clear your mind...

spongebob: clear m-my mind...?

why can't we be more like spongebob? walang pinoproblema...kundi ilakad si gary...magluto ng krabby patty...

*sigh*

that is the life...

wah. ang sabaw...

ang weird ko talaga...gusto ko maging kagaya ni spongebob?

ewan.

ewan ko kung bakit pero...adik ako kay spongebob ngayon...

mga patrick-spongebob hirit...eto dapat ang tinutularang ng mga bata ngaun...:

Spongebob: Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupted? Now he's a bronzefish. 

Patrick: Are you Squidward?
Fire Hydrant: ...........
Patrick: That's ok, take ur time"

Spongebob: Patrick, ur genius is showing.
Patrick: (looks down) Where?!?

Spongebob: Imaginaaaaaaaaaaation. (makes a rainbow.)

Squidward: Has anyone ever played an instrument before?
*Patrick's hand goes up*
Patrick: Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Squidward: "No Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.
*Patrick's hand goes up again*
Squidward: No Patrick, horseradish is not an instrument either.
*Patrick's hand goes down*

Spongebob: Guess what today is?
Patrick: Annoy Squidward Day?
Spongebob: No, silly! That's on the fifteenth!

Squidward: People talk loud when they want to sound smart, right?
Plankton: CORRECT!!!

Patrick: You ate my candy bar! Now I'm gonna starve! *zoom in on huge stomach*"

Sandy: What has four wings and flies? A garbage truck!

Spongebob: What does Claustrophobic mean?
Patrick: It means you're afraid of Santa Claus.

Squidward: Patrick, if I had one dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar

Patrick: The inner contents of my mind are an enigma. (In Patrick's thought bubble, a milk carton tips over).

Mr. Krabs: I did'nt want to say this in front of Patrick, but that hat makes you look like a girl.
Spngebob: Am I a pretty girl?"
Mr. Krabs: Well... yes, you're... you're beautiful.
[Mailman passing by stares at Mr. Krabs in disgust]

Patrick: (about his yellow undies) They were white when I bought 'em.

Sandy: I'm a squirrel, see.
[Points to a logo of an acorn on her suit]
SpongeBob: I thought that meant you were nuts?

SpongeBob: There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, with the Help Wanted sign on the front. I've waited years for this moment. I'm gonna go in there, march straight up to the manager, look at him straight in the eye, lay it on the line, and - I can't do it!
[turns away, but is stopped by Patrick]
SpongeBob: Patrick!
Patrick: Where do you think you're going?
SpongeBob: I was just...
Patrick: No, you're not. You go in there and get that job.
SpongeBob: No, I can't! Don't you see?
Patrick: Who's first words were "May I take your order?"
SpongeBob: Mine were.
Patrick: Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in shop class?
SpongeBob: I did.
Patrick: Who's a... who... Ungh... Who's a big, yellow cube with holes?
SpongeBob: I am!

Mr. Krabs: Attention all employees! Just giving you a heads-up. I'll be conducting a surprise uniform inspection in one hour. Whoever doesn't pass gets the boot.
[Pulls out a boot]
Mr. Krabs: This boot to be exact. It's very stinky, and you have to wear it all day.

SpongeBob: I'm sick, Patrick. I'm going to the doctor.
Patrick: What? Oh no, you can't go!
SpongeBob: Why not?
Patrick: I know a guy who knows a guy who went to the doctor, and the doctor's office is a horrible, horrible place.
SpongeBob: It can't be as horrible as the suds. [Sneezes]
Patrick: Oh, it is, SpongeBob. First, they make you sit in a... waiting room!
SpongeBob: Is that the horrible part?
Patrick: No, it gets worse. They make you read... old magazines!
[SpongeBob shrieks]
Patrick: Then the doctor pulls out his stethoscope.
SpongeBob: No!
Patrick: Yes! It's a device so sinister, so icy cold when it touches your bare flesh that... Pssh!
SpongeBob: Aaah! No doctor! No stethoscope! No magazines! No Pssh! Patrick, I don't want to go to the doctor.
Patrick: Exactly.

SpongeBob: But... I can't swim. If only I had known that being a lifeguard meant guarding their lives, I would have never said yes.

Mermaid Man: I did it! I feel a few years younger
Barnacle Boy: [shakes hands with Mermaid Man] You mean, *we*did it,you old coot
Mermaid Man: Who are you?

sabaw talaga! idol!

wow...ang saya!

it's as simple as that...masaya sya...!!! maybe it's also because of nagawa ko yung things na hindi ko nagawa dati...

like... sumakay ako ng space shuttle for the first time!!! ayoko talaga sumakay dun...ayoko kasi sa mga roller coasters... ayoko yung loops and lalo na yung backwards thing.... ayoko talaga sa mga roller coasters!!! i hate them..pero...

maybe...just maybe...i can ride it again...hehe//once i got my feet back on the ground... i was thinking...if i survived that maybe i can survive it again...hahaha

pero siguro next time na lang..once is enough for my first time...

and yes! nakapag-paintball din kami!!! whoooooo!!!!

i have waited for this day to come...sobrang...sobrang...

...

bitin.

hahaha...totoo naman db? bitin talaga...pero sabi kasi ni kat eh "trigger-happy" daw kami..so...

winiwish ko kaya na matamaan ako para may souvenir naman ako...proof na nglaro kmi...

it was fun...hindi ako tinamaan, sadly. nakatama naman ako...haha, i think lahat naman ata kmi tinamaan si ken eh...yabang kasi. hahaha

si smith din mayabang...parang ninja na may hawak na baril...haha

smith!  pekeng ninja ka! hehe..joke..

aun si smith yung unang tinamaan sa min...sa mask pa tinamaan...hahaha...aus ka smith!

and...na-adik kmi sa anchors away...nung kmi kasing magpipinsan... isang beses lng ako sumakay ng anchors... hindi ko rin alam kung bakit....i can't say takot kasi...

muka ba akong takot? haha

anyway...yun lng naman...

all the usuals na...rapids, log jam... pero hindi kmi ng 4d tsaka realto...dami tao eh...parang sa rapids hindi eh no?

aun lng!

meron pa nangyari pero you reall don't need to know that...haha!

para sa pics just check out my multiply...check nyo na rin yung kay yay, deb, paul and lui...hahaha

haha..ang cute lng kanina...pau and i took a walk after eating and while walking...ang daming pusa sa labas...

have you ever watched "CATWOMAN"? alam nyo yung part na namatay sya and all the cats gathered around her?

kanina merong ganung scene...and i was telling pau, "baka may patay na girl.." hahahaha

syempre si pau natakot...lolz!

wala lang ang cute lng kanina...

found this sa friendster bulletin board...and..

lolz...my nickname says it all...hahaha...

J - Everyone loves you
E - you have a nice ass
A - Damn Good Kisser

kung buo naman...

J - Everyone loves you
E - you have a nice ass
N - you are absolutely beautiful/handsome
N - you are absolutely beautiful/handsome
I - you get hyper easily
F - People totally adore you
E - you have a nice ass
R - Sexy!

A - Damn good kisser
B - good all-around person
B - god all-around person
I - you get hyper easily
E - you have a nice ass

A- Damn good kisser
B- Good all around person.
C- You're wild & crazy
D- You have one of the best personalities ever.
E- You have a nice ass.
F-People totally adore you.
G- You never let people tell you what to do.
H- You have a very good personality and looks.
I- You get hyper easily.
J-Everyone loves you.
K- You like to try new things
L- You live to have fun.
M- Success comes easilyto you.
N- You are absolutely beautiful/handsome.
O- You're an awesome person.
P- You are popular with all types of people.
Q- You are a hypocrite.
R- Sexy !
S- Easy to fall in love with.
T- You're loyal to thoseyou love.
U- You really like to chill.
V- You are notjudgmental.
W- You are very broad minded.
X- Younever let people tell you what to do.
Y- One of thebest bfs/gfs anyone could ask for.
Z- You're a littletoo hard to find.

so basically..i have a nice ass..sabi ko sayo kat eh!

ui people...ego-trip lng toh ha...hehehehe