I am KJ. There are a lot of things I don't wanna do and this is probably one of them. I don't want to therefore I have a lot of excuses. At least, I'm honest enough to say that I don't really wanna go. Just so you know, my excuses are legit. I'm really suckish at making up excuses besides, it's too much work, it's stresses my mind.

I am KJ. I seem to have migraines at the most inconvenient times. I can't help it if I have migraines. It comes randomly and it can be triggered by anything. As for this one, I've had it since last Friday. I spent my weekend sleeping and overdosing myself with Biogesic because we ran out of other paracetamols. 

For those who have migraines as well, you know how it feels. It's like your heart's been transfered to your head and you can feel it beating right down to your fingertips. Every time your head throbs it feels like your eyes are gonna pop out of your eye sockets. Light, heat and noise are your worst enemies. Change in temperature can trigger it too. Any thing that can make your head shake are enemies too; that includes nodding, shaking, laughing and if it's really that bad... even talking.

Along with migraines are uncontrollable mood swings. Meaning, I get pissed off real easy. 

When I have migraines, I want to spend my day in the dark burying my head in my pillows and play dead until the pain dies.

This isn't an exaggeration.

As of now, it's migraine season. So I don't want to do anything. Painkillers are temporary reliefs. They don't last that long, probably for an hour or two only. So no matter how much I take, it won't do me any good. I think it'll kill me faster even.

So, that's excuse no. 1.

That's my most used up excuse. Others would be: a) Our katulong's in the province because she's sick and Paue and I have to do all the chores and b) I don't have money.

As for excuse A... well, I don't really do much at home so I don't use it very often. As for excuse B... let's just put it this way

There's a very high probability that I won't be enrolling next semester or next year.

Catch my drift? For those who didn't get that... don't bother. I already told somebody about this but that person didn't take it seriously. It's just that for someone who really feels the gravity of the situation, meaning myself, it's really hard.

I know I suck in school but that's not enough reason for me to stop going to school. No matter how much I hate it, I don't want to quit. However, hearing your mom ask you to stop for a year or something because they can't support me any longer, makes you realize that I have been spending a lot on trivial things. I've been whiny and spoiled for almost all my life and I honestly did not expect this. No matter how angry I feel, it won't do anything.

So... now you know. When I say I can't do stuff, I guess there's no need to ask why.

I really didn't want to tell anybody about this but since people have been asking me to go places or do stuff and I can't go. I have a feeling they're saying, "Kapag ayaw maraming dahilan"

I do have a lot of reasons but if I tell them... they'll just call it excuses. And if told them about the "stop school" thing, they'll be making a big deal out of it. So... this is my ultimate reason and it's the truth.

Sorry for being such a KJ. And when I say that, "Na-OOP ako..." that doesn't mean that I'm angry or nagtatampo ako. I'm just saying. I'm used to it anyway. 

I'm going back to sleep. Migraine attack.