my first blog for the summer...considering that I'm bored out of my skull, I have managed to blog about something/ anything trivial; not that there was any excitement in my summer anyway... same as every year: BUM.

"I see stars..."

that simple phrase had me laughing until I turned blue [okay, exag] but the truth is, I haven't really laughed that much in a long time, since there isn't really anything to laugh about... you know that kind of laugh... an honest laugh.It wasn't forced and it was premeditated... an honest, spontaneous laugh.

you may think that these kinds of things are natural and that it comes often, but the truth is, things like honest laughs really are hard to come by.

expressions aren't what they seem anymore. As much as your face wants to tell everybody around you exactly how you feel, it doesn't. What's worse is that it's actually trying to convince the person wearing that said expression to feel that way.

I smiled yesterday. You know? that kind of smile that pops out of nowhere and the fact that it made you smile, made your smile even bigger. and then after a while, [I'm not trying to be emo here but...] I realized that no matter how good that smile felt, burried beneath it was anything but happiness. The more I thought about the thing/person that made me smile, made me realize that there really wasn't any reason why I should be smiling in the first place.

I just hate it when I think too much.

Instead of just being happy for the moment, I just ruined by thinking of all the things why I shouldn't be.

I smiled a real smile... and just as fast as that smile appeared, it was gone. Smiles were supposed to make people happy, not make them regret things or think about impossible what-if situations, but that's just exactly how I felt.

facial expressions aren't what they used to be. tears are for both sadness and happiness and apparently so are smiles. nothing is what it seems to be anymore; and you'll keep thinking its one or the other.

If you yourself, don't know how you feel, how will you be able to convince the people around you?